It occurred to me looking at them that my body language itself likely comes across as shy, my movements unsure. As if everything I do, I slow down, waiting for something or someone to tell me what I'm doing is wrong. That's why I liked these pictures more than the others. I was standing my ground, for once. Exclaiming, "I have the right to be occupying this space."
My friend Richard met a girl. He explained some of her habits that bothered him. For example, he called her daft because she always had to ask how to do something when they were together in his apartment. I couldn't help but defend her, because I knew her habit likely had nothing to do with her intelligence. She was looking for permission. Hinting, almost. "I am about to do [insert action here], last chance to tell me if it will bother you." I felt bad that he saw her as weak, because I wonder if he would see me the same way.
These are the things I'm trying to pinpoint and change. Where these feelings are coming from. Generally, I feel as though I don't have the right to do, feel, think certain things. I don't admit to love. I'm ashamed of it, even. I don't pry, or ask questions. The universe often feels like it's none of my business. Simple self-worth issue, I suppose? I'm not sure. But I'm working on it.