I don't feel like I will ever be able to go back out into the world.
I don't really like my career path at the moment. I have an exam scheduled and I can't focus to study. If I fail, I'll feel bad that my employer spent the money on it. My entire life is chaos around me and I can't crack the book open.
I want to slice all my skin off.
I want to burn all my belongings.
I want to delete every notion of my existence online.
I want to bury myself 30 feet down in the woods and breathe soil.
I want the void without having to die.
There's probably just one skip and a jump over to genuine suicidal thoughts and I don't know what to do about it.