I'm baffled by how little patience I have for depressed people in my life, despite how much it resonates with me and how deep/dark my depression has gotten over the years. I'm reminded of a scene in Parks & Rec where Anne has to explain to Chris that when people vent to him, they're not necessarily looking for logical solutions to the problem, they're just looking for a shoulder. I tend to do the same -- for example, I take questions literally: "What's wrong with me?" "Years of emotional abuse, chemical imbalance in the brain, lack of coping skills growing up." Thankfully, I verified with them afterwards that they actually wanted an answer to that question and it wasn't a problem.
But I get frustrated very easily. And I'm not entirely sure why. When I'm not depressed personally, I have no understanding of why they can't also see the good things surrounding them. I suppose this is just me being selfish. Or maybe not selfish, but for some reason lose my empathy. (And really, isn't that the definition of selfishness, anyway?) Normally I'm a very empathic person, so I'm not sure why I lapse in it suddenly when certain people are depressed.
I do see a pattern in the people I get frustrated with, though, so it might be an early sign of how much I respect/love the person in general. There are some people that never seem to empty the emotional resources I have available to them. And I suppose that's what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship, but so far have not really found it.
And this is probably normal and expected.
Meanwhile, I've lost weight counting calories. I've stuck to a strict caloric intake of about 1475 in MyFitnessPal, and so far I think it's working. I'm not ridiculously hungry, I'm usually fine with stopping at that number, and I'm looking at certain things realizing that I probably don't have the caloric budget to not be starving later if I eat it.