Facebook just makes me more lonely, because, well. It's a social network. It's for social people. It's for people to flaunt how social they are. I always thought of it as a way of keeping in touch with people I wouldn't otherwise, but I end up being excited when I can share that I'm actually DOING something with people, because it almost never happens. All my photos are selfies of myself and no one else. They're up because I figure I need them.
I don't end up keeping in touch with people. They flit into my life and then flit right out. People very rarely make an effort to be around me, and it's even more rare when I make an effort to be around them. Because people just blow me off.
I took one of those online quizzes that tries to guess your age. I'm 28, and it guessed 38. It wasn't even based on anything major -- just whether I listened to cassettes at all during my life and knew the Delorean was a time machine. But I guess I'm taking it to heart just because I know it would probably guess even older if it asked me things like how many times I've been drunk and how many people I've slept with in the past year. (Twice and zero, respectively.)
I just feel pathetic these days. I missed out on my high school years (didn't go to high school) and wanted to make up for it during my college years, but I've only become more stodgy and boring in the past couple of years. The most exciting thing that's happened recently is I picked up some people from the airport yesterday and got stuck in traffic this morning.
So now college is ending and I'm thinking I'll just move without seeing anyone. None of my "friends". Because none of them are really friends anyway. I can only be friends with people who have an excuse to know me, like they're forced to work with me or they're dating me and expect naked time.
Bleh. Just bleh.
I'm so bored but people are terrifying.