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Constant
Crushed. Exhausted. I've never felt this hopeless before.

My body is completely fucked. Every day is a struggle. Painful. It never heals. Everything is wrong with it. Existing was a mistake.

Been thinking about giving away my things. The cat stops me from thinking any further than that right now. I love her too much.

Now 2020 has taken RBG and the Supreme Court is fucked for a solid 30 years now. I don't want to be around to witness what's going to happen.

I don't want to be in this country. This body. This life. I feel like I'm going to die soon.

(I will probably get better. I have pericarditis again. I'm in pain and exhausted and I will get better. It just doesn't feel like it right now.)

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2020-09-18 @ 11:21 p.m.