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Poison
I searched for "communication" in the relationships subreddit looking for advice about similar situations that my boyfriend and I are having and all I've found are people being told they should dump the people who I relate to the most.

Meanwhile, I've convinced myself I'm poisoned by a hair product and now possibly my freezer. My hypochondria is off the charts because of stomach issues and a funny taste in my mouth.

I have terrible communication. I didn't tell him that while he was sleeping the other day, I called the poison control center and they told me I'm fine. Today I left work early, went to the nurse in my work building and was told I'm fine. I ate ice cream from the freezer, which had a funny taste, and I recall the resin I put in there a few weeks back to speed hardening. Obviously the fumes stayed in there and poisoned the ice cream. That's where the poison was all along. I don't go to the doctor because they'll charge me $300 to look at me like I'm an idiot. I already have collections calling me for the overdue bill from months ago. There's no blood test for paranoia. I've probably eaten more chemicals in the form of pesticides in a week of salads.

Meanwhile, I hate myself. And I'm tired of saying that. Tired of believing it.

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2016-07-05 @ 5:47 p.m.