Today I hate the apartment, I hate the coffee maker, and the dishes in the sink. The library, my safe place, isn't open until noon and it's barely 9am. I hate that I tried to get my boyfriend's attention while he played a game, waited until he was out of battle, and still made him angry. I hate the smell that still comes out of the garbage can even after I clean it, and how my cat uses my stomach as a springboard across the room.

Most of all, I hate that I have to go to work tomorrow.

But in my head, instead of it becoming "I hate these individual things that are outside myself", it becomes "I hate myself."

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