I want to binge eat Pop-Tarts and then sleep until January.
I don't know how people do it. They must have chemicals in their brain that I don't. I don't feel love strongly, or physical attraction. I don't even feel hatred for myself very strongly any longer. And as fucked up as that sounds, it feels like a small failure. I can't even hate myself properly.
I'm just. There. Taking up resources. The only things I feel anymore are fear and anxiety. The constant feeling that my existence is just wrong.
The main thing people learn about me rather quickly is that I'm not worth their time. So perhaps I shouldn't be worth my time, either, though I realize that's a ridiculous way of looking at it.