I know this is stupid. I know this is what gives people eating disorders. Logically, I know I'm not worthless. But how do you fight a feeling that's so ingrained in yourself? That's lived with you for years?
I've worked out a lot the past few days. I wanted to tonight, but I slept instead. The goal tonight is schoolwork, and once everything I ate digests, I want to try to work it off. Today was supposed to be chest, back and shoulders.
I'm trying to do things right. I like muscle-building. I find cardio worthless unless it's in addition to lifting, so I guess it's good that my workout of choice requires eating a minimum of fat and protein. I'm mostly concerned about protein, being vegan. But I still have a huge jug of whey that I use, and then will switch to soy when it's all gone. It's hard to avoid whey in protein bars, though.
This week seems a little less rough than last week. I had my first Shakespeare test today, and I think I did well. Tonight I need to start reading Hamlet, which I'm relatively excited for. I think I'll watch Lion King sometime this week, since it's supposed to be based on Hamlet. I also want to watch Patrick Stewart's Macbeth, but I don't know when I'll have time.