But labels are nice. They're solid. Comforting.
School is typically a large part of it. I'm a history major. And I'm an older, "non-traditional" student, though I feel just like the 20 year old students I come across. I'm behind, emotionally. The only real difference is that I've had more jobs than them.
Music is another. Possibly bigger than my major. Metal, mostly, with some goth and industrial. I think the only reason my major is more important for me to explain to people on the outset is because I expect it to be a part of my career in the future. Perhaps I'll be a teacher, or professor, or work in a museum. But people cringe at the idea of studying history, because they associate it with boredom (something I'll never truly understand), so at least my music taste is a little less boring.
But then my actions end up being just as boring. The fact that I've never been drunk in my life, despite having lived in Las Vegas most of my life, seems to be endlessly shocking to people. And that bugs me, mostly because I feel like people think less of me because of it, when I always end up respecting people like me a hell of a lot more than the typical Vegas party crowd. I guess that's why I moved away when I was 19.
Sexuality is probably a big deal, but I always downplay it. Partially because I don't know what the fuck my sexuality is 90% of the time, and partially because I'm still "in the closet" on account of my family. Of late, all signs are pointing to the fact that I'm gay. And if anything it's more comforting to know I can finally say anything substantial about that. I've been struggling with it and confused for my entire adult life, really. And I'm probably not done struggling with it, to be honest.
Anyway. I'm not sure what brought me here. This place is all about nostalgia, really. I've had a journal here for over 10 years. And I'm still just putting off studying for school.