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Upside down
The past week has tried to turn my life upside down. Nothing feels the same; the air is somehow thicker, this house feels much less accepting. Not much in itself has changed, and most of it is back to "normal", but the emotional havok it's left inside me is nearly unbearable.

I am very tempted to quit my job for the sake of my sanity. I cannot handle it anymore.

I couldn't even begin to explain what happened this week. Work, school, my personal life... all of it has changed drastically, and only my personal life has changed for the better. Work may actually be past the point of no return, and I am going to start sending my resume out again despite the economy. School is almost impossible, but will be over in less than a week. Dan and I exchanged I Love You's, the first time a relationship has ever been mutual for me.

And I don't know what to do with myself. I want out. Yesterday I was okay with everything, because I felt safe with him. I knew that if I lost everything else, I'd still have that. But I'm still terrified that I'll lose him as well.

I am so fed up with work, however, that I am very willing to drop all my classes for next semester if it'll get me out of that place. I shouldn't be literally afraid to walk into my office each day.

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2009-07-12 @ 1:30 p.m.