I realized one of these days after class that I am entirely too self-centered. At least moreso than I'd like to be. (Who isn't?) Walking back to my car, I noticed that as soon as class ended, even after the most exciting class of the semester, I went right back to thinking about myself. Not science, not math. Me. And I began to think perhaps this is why professors, physics geniuses, writers often dress in scraps and smell musty--they're thinking about the world more than themselves. I have a hard time separating my Mind from my Self. Everything has to somehow benefit me in order to put forth my best effort. And do you know how often that is, all things considered? Not much.
This is why I despise the humanities. I'll get excited as hell about physics and math and other such concepts, but fuck if I give a shit about people and their sick patterns. My own sick patterns are fascinating, but I take zero interest in others'.
We received a little invitation in the mail for a new math and science K-11 school in the area, addressed to my dad for his children. I'm his only child, and am already college age, but I found myself wishing I were young enough to go. It took me a second to realize I couldn't, and searched rather helplessly for any indication that college courses were offered. I decided that if I were to have children, I'd like to seek out schools like that for them. Provided they agree to it, of course. If they'd rather go to an art school, so be it.
Been thinking about this often, actually. How I'd raise my children. I just hope it doesn't get in the way of my career.