I wonder how he would react if I told him I didn't want to move back to Portland. If I told him I wanted to go to Minnesota or Colorado. I can almost hear the disappointment in his voice, but I honestly wonder if I want him to be disappointed, when he really wouldn't be.

I think he misses me. He tells me he does, anyway. And I run with anything like that. I like to trick myself into believing he might love me. I need to feed my ego as much as I can.

I like to believe he wonders, as much as I do, if we'll ever be together.

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